This project is a collection of thoughts transcribed and dictated by ivana renee and informed by the honest experiences of various homegirls in the city. In this project, “I” is for all of us.
The Harlem vs Brooklyn beef among transplants is halted for the season. Everyone knows there are, indisputably, no moves in Harlem, and a Brooklyn summer is undefeated.
All the homegirls have box braids and their toes out. Community members are starting to line up on various corners around Brooklyn to host BBQs and street harass black women.
“Well, fuck you too. You ain’t got no ass no ways” has begun to ring melodically from Harlem to Bed-Stuy and through black communities around the country.
Cuffing season has come to an end, and hot girl season has officially commenced.
We know that there is no “typical” homegirl. Most homegirls slide on the spectrum between aunties and hot girls, contingent on weather, coins, and “who’s all there”.
While homegirls are industry leaders in hot girl protocol, their energy has changed since last summer, and what they know for sure is that you can’t survive off dick alone.
Meg told us it was a hot girl summer, but “city boys” were so busy culturally appropriating that they didn’t realize that hot girl season was, indisputably, none of their business.
Somebody get these men a journal. Homeboys want a storyline so bad.
The homegirls know that hot girl season isn’t as much about bussing down as it is about doing whatever tf we want which may or may not include bussin down. Okay.
In fact, the insured homegirls are in therapy working through generational trauma, cutting off their situationships from pro-bono counselling services, and diving into their own daddy issues.
Inserts Spongebob meme: BuT I dOnT wAnt tO LoSE yOuR fRiendShIp.
Listen, kings. It’s above me now. The Best Western is next door.
This particular weekend, the homegirls put together a summer look, collected their strength to combat seasonal allergies, and made their way to a rooftop cookout mix.
The homeboys are hosting, said, cookout, and considering that they’re only a few winters away from 30, they’re stepping up their event hosting game.
The grill is booming and homeboys and homegirls alike have contributed to the cooler of adult beverages. One homegirl even brought limes and ginger beer to whip up moscow mules. That cocktail energy hits differently than that Jameson shot. Okay.
Nevertheless, for the right mix and in support of black business, homegirls aren’t above driving the boat and bussin down the Dusse out the bottle.
We’re not new to a good summer function, and rooftops have become a basic requirement for a good time.
We love being rich.
By now, many homegirls have learned that we’re both too good for bodega sandwiches and lactose intolerant, so this iteration of homegirls dabble in part time veganism, work out a few times a week, and aren’t strangers to cutting a check for a pressed juice.
If we didn’t already lock it in for ourselves, we’re, at most, one degree of separation from a Dumbo House membership.
Like I said, this new summer energy is different. Homegirls are leaning into their mid to late twenties and can look back and see that our early twenties were ghetto.
We remember our privileged poverty when we’d only take ubers on special occasions. Yuck. Now, weekends are for car service. The MTA is anti self-care, not on brand, poor.
After 9 months of a New York winter, it’s imperative that we make the most of our summers.
For maximum satisfaction, it’s important to pull up with homegirls who complement your energy.
Choose your squad wisely, and don’t let your homegirls embarrass you.
In any given situation, there are countless ways for homegirls to move, and when it comes to incorporating homeboys or “city boys”, general homegirl protocol suggests that we don’t do too much.
Doing too much comes in various forms. Not limited to getting too lit at the function, doing too much can include being overly enthused for the unreciprocated attention of a particular homeboy, telling a poorly executed joke, and much more.
The high performing homegirls avoid doing the most, and the most effective homegirl can play off each other’s energy and the energy in the room. We want to remain independent while also being on the same wave.
Homegirls, this is how we win summer 19.
I’ve been seeing on Al Gore’s internet that city boys are up at the half. Good news. We projected this because as we know niggas love games, but you know what they don’t love? Consistency.
This is where we take the lead.
Don’t stress him, sis. I can see by your edges that your curl pattern is flourishing in that protective style. He don’t even got waves.
A man can only put you on his level or below.
Oh, and if your spirit is calling you to end one of these aforementioned city boy storylines, keep in mind it’s way easier to cut niggas off when they’re not in your face, so block him, mute him, fuck his friend.
It’s a self-care summer.
Plus, our ultimate homegirl, Drake, is in album mode, so it’s only a matter of time. Come October, these so-called city boys will be hitting our lines with unauthorized FaceTimes and “how was your day” texts.
So we pray: May the light of the Brooklyn sun shine bright on all the homegirls in the city for the rest of our days.
We can rest in the winter. Homegirls are taking this one in over time.